If only
by CascadeAngel
Summary: These are random things that the Zodiac DOESN'T do because of their curse.
1. Yuki

**A/N: I don't own fruits Basket. Shocker. Also this entire story can go in whatever order you please. **

Rustle rustle rustle.

Shigure stopped at the dorrway to the kitchen and received a shock. Yuki was nearly upside down in the garbage can, "Uh, hey Yuki. What're you doing in there?"

The Rat reemerged clutching a half-eaten cheeseburger. "My lunch, mine!" he screamed, scampering away out the door.

Shigure blinked several times, "You-you have fun with that."

The Dog's face broke into a wide grin, he was going to have fun spreading this around.

**A/N: Yeah, these are all probably going to be extremely short. Please give me ideas for things the rest of the Zodiac would not do. **

**Yuki: …**

**Yeah sorry 'bout that man…Peace out peoplez~~~~~~~~ XD**


	2. Kyo

Kagura turned the corner into the kitchen and suddenly flipped out, "KYO! WERE YOU JUST USING THAT LITTER BOX!"

"Wha-NO!" That Cat yelped, hastily pulling up his fly.

"HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME!" Kagura screamed, pummeling Kyo to a pulp. "IF WE'RE TO BE MARRIED WE HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER!"

"Agh, get the hell away from me!" Kyo shouted, trying to fend off the raging Boar.

Once the Cat was beaten bloody Kagura calmed down, "So now I know that when we get married we'll have to stock up on kitty litter! See, if you'd just told me we wouldn't have had to go through that!"

"…"

**A/N: Poor Kyo…that was for you Emzi. I would've used your name but I wanted to keep it all Furuba people. I think Shigure will be next.**

**Kyo: What the hell was that about! You think sic'ing her on me is entertaining?**

***evil snicker* **


	3. Shigure

**A/N: Ah there were so many to choose from for Shigure, so I just went with the first one I thought of…oh yes, pretend that this is the first time they meet Tohru. **

Tohru stood on the porch, admiring the Zodiac figurines that were set out to dry.

"Hello, what's this? I must be seeing things. A girl…out here? My, my…" Shigure muttered to himself, stepping onto the porch.

Before Tohru could stammer out a response the man dropped to all fours and began to sniff up her skirt.

"Wha-um I-" she stuttered, too flustered to speak coherently.

CLUNK! Shigure fell back on the porch, rubbing his head, "That hurt, did you have a dictionary in there?"

Yuki glared at him, disgusted, "Actually, I had two. Must you act like that in front of strangers?"

Shigure grinned idiotically, "Well what do you expect from a dog?"

"That's one way too put it…oh Honda-san, are you alright? Excuse my cousin, he's…not right in the head." Yuki said, masking a twitch.

"Oh! Good morning Sohma-kun, I'm fine, really! I just-ah, he…" Tohru blurted out.

Yuki smiled while internally cursing the Dog, he always screwed things up.

**A/N: Poor Yuki, now it's somehow become his problem…**

**Shigure: He hit me! That was an unnecessary use of force! *pout***

**Kami, you're all such whiney-babies…Review and please please please give me ideas because my friends are extremely unhelpful!**


	4. Ayame

Gulp! Yuki could hear Ayame spluttering for air in the other room.

He walked in to find his brother purple in the face, a huge lump in his throat. "Y'know what, I'm not going to help you since you're a big enough idiot to swallow whatever you did."

Despite his gasps and coughs Yuki could tell Ayame was still trying to deliver a romantic speech. He left the room before Ayame could even begin.

The rat walked into Shigure's study, "Do you know Hatori's phone number?"

The Dog raised an eyebrow, "Why do you need it, who's hurt?"

Yuki sighed, "Ayame."

Shigure smiled, "Oh well that's nothing new, did he swallow something enormous again?"

"For once you hit the nail right on the head."

Shigure pouted, "You say that like an insult."

Yuki glared, "Just call Hatori while I go and watch my idiot brother slowly choke to death."

"…Sheesh Yuki, Aaya's not that bad…"

The door slammed behind the Rat as he left the study.

**A/N: You guys know the drill, this is where I beg you for reviews…Ayame?**

**Ayame: How dare Yuki be so crass towards me, his fabulous and most adoring older brother? I would think that he would quickly swoop in to my rescue and spare me from the clutches of death! As I would do the same for him, *dramatic sigh* sometimes it's hard to believe we are related…**

**Yes well Ayame I think Yuki's idea of helping you would be to slit your throat where you stand…**

**Ayame: Why that's absurd! Like any wonderful little brother he wants nothing more than to deepen our bond so that we can be as close as two birds that generously share a single feather! AHAHAHAHAHA! And there's no use denying it Bazil-chan, for being Ayame means I am always right!**

**B-Bazil-chan? Ah well, hasta luego people of Earth (or wherever you may be from).**


	5. Kureno

**A/n: Sorry for the random jump in characters, I had no other ideas.**

Kureno looked at the clock; 5 a.m.

"CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW!"

His cawing echoed through the silent estate, as it did every morning.

Akito pushed herself up on her bed and angrily rubbed her eyes, "I swear I am going to kill that damn bird!"


	6. Ritsu

**A/N: Wow, the last one was short huh? Agh, I've been told to cut down on my author notes so I shall hush…**

Shigure glanced up from his newspaper to see who had entered his house, "Oh, hello Rit-chan."

"I'M SO SORRY! I NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME WITHOUT INVITATION! I HAVE CAUSED YOU SO MUCH TROUBLE THAT I MUST LEAVE NOW!"

The Dog poked the person in the side before continuing, "Ritsu, you know you're always welcome here. Here, calm down and have a banana."

The Monkey proceeded to gobble an entire bunch of bananas. "Wow Ritsu you must have been hungry…"

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SUCH A BURDEN!"

"Ritsu it's not that bad…"

"I'M PROBABLY COSTING YOU A FORTUNE WITH BANANAS AT 69 CENTS A POUND!"

Shigure sighed, poking the Monkey in the side again, "You don't need to worry so much, and bananas aren't _that_ expensive."

Ritsu continued to snivel, muttering incoherent apologies.

Shigure smiled to himself, bananas, monkeys, how cliché.


	7. Momiji

They were all running around, playing a game of hide-and-go-seek at Momiji's request. Kyo was it.

"Ah where the hell did they all go?" Kyo hissed.

The others snickered at him from their various positions.

The Cat heard something behind him and turned to see Momiji dashing behind a shed. Seeing his opportunity, Kyo snuck around the other way, as to surprise the Rabbit.

Once he was close enough the Cat pounced, "Ha I got you!"

Suddenly Momiji stiffened and collapsed on the ground.

"Wha-what the hell?"

The rest of the group rushed over to see what had happened.

Haru bent down over the boy's figure and took his pulse, "He's dead. Kyo I think this counts as manslaughter."

The group stared in silence.

"H-how? I mean he was fine until I pounced on him then he just keels over! What the hell is that about?" Kyo demanded, feebly trying to defend himself.

Haru shrugged, "Either way, this is going to be hard to explain to Akito."

The group paled.

**A/N: Okay, the stereotype here was that rabbits can literally be frightened to death, I tried to make that as clear as possible without flat out saying it. Well I guess I ended up saying it anyway…phew, 7 down, 5 to go.**


	8. Kisa

Hiro was insulting Tohru again. Nothing new, but he was really being mean.

Kisa watched quietly, becoming unsettled by his crass behavior.

Finally she'd had enough. "Hiro stop being so mean!" she shouted, flooring Hiro and Tohru.

"K-Kisa. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset." Hiro amended. "But I never knew you could shout like that."

Kisa blushed.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Hatori glanced up from his papers, smiling at what he'd just heard.

Kisa shouting. That was new.

Especially since he was almost a mile away from the park they were playing at.

He shook his head and resumed his work.

**A/N: A tiger's roar can be heard from a mile away…that's about all I have to say.**


	9. Hatori

**A/N: I told myself that if I did a "male seahorses have the babies" thing I would shoot myself. Finally my Mom gave me this idea and I was so happy that I didn't have to pull out the magnum that I sat down and began typing like a banshee on caffeine. (a.k.a. myself…)**

Everyone knows that Hatori needs a vacation. It's like a fact of life, that man needs a break.

So thought Shigure and Ayame, so they swooped in on the doctor and dragged him off.

"Tori-san you work much too hard, so we have decided to take you to a place of wonderment that is so fabulous that many mere mortals have died trying to access it!"

"…"

"Aaya, that's a little extreme…it's just a beach." Shigure muttered.

"Oh Gure-san howcould you! You've given away our magnificent secret! Now Tori-san knows where we're taking him and all of our careful planning is ruined! Noooooooooo!"

"…"

Ayame continued to rant on and on in an endless blabber until they reached the beach.

Without pausing for a second, Shigure and Ayame grabbed Hatori and threw him into the surf, fully clothed.

"…"

"Ha-san I don't think dot-dot-dotting is very good for your health." Shigure crooned.

Hatori smacked himself on the head. Such idiots.

At the beach they did all sorts of beachy stuff, but Hatori never left the water. Still in his clothes and everything. He just wouldn't get out.

"Tori-san come build a sand castle with me!" Ayame whined.

"Ha-san look at all the high school girls!" Shigure shouted, earning himself several odd looks from passersby.

"…Oh please just shoot me…"

So, inevitably, the doctor was dragged out of the water. And immediately started gasping for air. And writhing. And collapsed, dead from oxygen deprivation.

Now it was Shigure and Ayame's turn to dot-dot-dot.


	10. Hatsuharu

**A/N: Gah, sorry this took so long but I was completely brain-dead. But, through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have made my way here to the depths of fanfiction, to present you with the newest chapter (cudos to anyone who can name the movie that I just ripped off XD):**

White Haru sat on the lawn staring blankly ahead of him.

It was a usual afternoon, Yuki and Kyo were bickering, Tohru was fretting, and Momiji was being hyper.

The Cow looked at his companions, "I'm hungry."

"Then just go get something to eat, no need to bother us about it!" Kyo shouted, temper high from just having his butt whooped. Again.

Haru felt a slight inkling to go Black, but it was such a nice day out, and Kyo really wasn't worth it…..

He shrugged and began pacing the yard, finally kneeling down a few yards away from the others.

The others watched in confusion as he began ripping up handfuls of grass and stuffing them in his mouth.

"….."

The boy looked up, calmly registering the looks of awe on their faces.

He didn't care. He never cared. He was Haru. He could get away with stuff like this.

Haru chewed his mouthful of green slowly, somewhat enjoying the reactions of his audience.

And Yuki looked so cute when he was confused…


	11. Hiro

**A/N: I keep letting these stories lie dormant for a long time. I have like three stories I want to work on! AAAAAAAAH! Ok, before I go into Ritsu mode, here is the next chapter courtesy of my friend Julie who gave me this idea….**

Hiro stalked through the Sohma estate, grumbling angrily and pulling his hat further down over his head.

"Stupid Akito, it's not like we're really our animals!"

Just then the wind picked up and blew the hat off his head and sent it tumbling into a clump of bushes. At the same moment Momiji came around the corner.

"Hiro, was mit dir passiert? Du bist kahl wie ein alter Mann!"

"Shut up stupid Bunny, and it's not like anyone can understand your babbling anyways!"

The Rabbit frowned at him, "Hiro's being mean again. All I said was 'Hiro, what happened to you? You're bald like an old man!'"

The Sheep just glared and went to retrieve his hat.

Yanking it violently over his ears, Hiro hissed, "Stupid Akito, claiming he wants a wool scarf."

The blonde smiled, which only made Hiro angrier, "You just wait 'til he wants a rabbit's foot. Then we'll see who's laughing!"

Momiji blanched.


	12. Kagura

**A/N: Oh geez I need to update this….well here goes.**

Kagura was a fast runner, she knew she was. But still she was worried she wouldn't be fast enough right then.

"C'MERE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACON!"

"OH MY GOD SHIGURE STOP!"

The Dog was chasing the Boar, knife in one hand and fork in the other, "BACON TASTY BACON!"

"AHHHHH" Kagura turned around and punched Shigure in the face, sending him flying across the yard.

Shigure landing in a clump of hedges, a few broken teeth tinkling after him.

"Oops," Kagura giggles, "I guess that was a bit too harsh."

And Hatori, who was watching this from his office, smiled. See, he was right, Shigure had gotten hit after all.


	13. Rin

**A/N: Ha! I did it! I got motivation to update my fanfic! Um…this probably sucks really badly but forgive me, I've been out of the Furuba mode for a while. **

Rin sat by the window, staring into space and daydreaming, so lost in thought that she didn't hear Haru approaching. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, causing her to jump up violently and blindly kick him in the face. Haru looked at her for a second and then spit out a tooth in his hand.

"Ouch," he muttered, "That was a little harsh…"

She blushed. _Oops….._


End file.
